What I have been wanting to hear all this time.
People love to know the long-term plans of others,
…but what are you going to do next? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? If something goes wrong, what are you going to do?
Most of the time they are projecting their own worries through their questions, however many times we find ourselves making up answers that we don’t even believe to be true just to avoid being socially judged for being unclear about our long-term path.
Society is quite judgemental with people who’s path is not guided by clear goals, by the age of 27 I should have this, at 30 I should be in this place working on my dream job, by 35 I should have created a family already, as if we were actually capable of creating our destiny just as we want it. But if I’m honest with you, I think no one sees everything as clear as they say and if at some point someone does, it is just a small part of something bigger they haven’t discovered, there are very good actors pretending to have perfect-solved lives and with that’s usually the image we like to keep in our minds when we compare our paths to the other’s because feeling lost also makes us feel inferior.
Mostly, being lost is the result of living a life that is not genuinely for you. As if a signal coming from your inner self was asking you to change change course, to be able to know yourself in another way to realize where you actually want to go now.
However, for me destiny is written for each one but not in the way they have led us to believe, as there was an specific image of a life for each one: some are destined to live a beautiful love and others not, some are destined to be bad and some good, some are born with luck and some without, some are destined to be lost and some not. Instead, I believe that destiny is written in lessons and that, certainly doesn’t come with an specific image.
I am passionate about souls because I think that through them we choose the people and situations with which we are going to live, because that will be our way of extracting the hidden lessons through life and as we discover them, we reveal our life purpose.
The lessons we have to learn are written down, but the way we learn them is not, so those how-to can present themselves in different ways: wrong partners, taking a job we don’t like, making a wrong decision, being dumped by a partner we loved very much, failing in a first project, losing someone loved, receiving criticism, to name a few. All situations have a hidden lessons within.
Living abroad for a while has always been exciting for me, I always wondered how it would feel to be the new one in a school, to be the foreigner, until later I had the chance to live it. Travel has made me see that being far has great advantages, but you have to learn to find them. Each trip has been different and each one has led me to live what was necessary so that I could learn better.
Sometimes it is difficult to see those hidden lessons when they appear as challenges because they force us to be further and further out of our comfort zone.
Many times in our eagerness to give a certain meaning to an specific situation we are experiencing, we get distracted with what we see at a glance.
If I fail at love, means that I shouldn’t love as hard as I love.
If I feel lost is because I have to make more precise plans.
If I failed with my new project, it is because it is not worth doing or taking risks like that.
If I don’t achieve to eat well and be constant at the gym, is because I need to be harder on myself to achieve it.
If things don’t turn out the way I hope, it’s because I have to be more strict.
I’ve learned that the actual hidden lessons in challenges go beyond what we see or think it is. Sometimes they are even simpler than the stories we create in our minds of what could be, because they have more to do with values that perhaps we need, to get to live our best life. Sometimes what a set of problems or discomforts are only trying to tell us about the specific stage we are in, is that we have to learn to stop wanting to control everything, we need to be patient, we should start trusting or loving ourselves more, sometimes we’re being asked to be more compassionate, to quit wanting to be right all the time or to just let go and surrender.
In my case, what this specific stage of my life has wanted to tell me is to learn to trust. This experience of living away for a long time now, has made me realize that I needed to build confidence in myself from scratch, which has not been easy at all. However, over time a feeling of tranquility has visited me more often and has made me trust that this is what I have to live exactly as it has been and now I understand that in any other way I wouldn’t have been able to learn it. It has been a constant of challenges and discomforts that have come to tell me is trust yourself to trust everything else. Suddenly owning that lesson at this particular stage of my life has made some things lighter, such as feeling lost.
Building my own trust has helped me understand that there’s nothing wrong about feeling in a particular way even though I feel like I am moving away from the idea of “success” I usually see out there. Little by little I have come to understand that this whole phase of my life is leading me to redefine my own idea of things, the idea with which I function, what makes actual sense to me. It has helped me to understand that every time I compare my process with someone else’s, is my Ego wanting to find security in something because it cannot bear to live without a fixed direction and also that every time I have doubted myself for being in constant contact with the lifestyle of others through social networks, is my Ego that wants external validation and seeks that I also act in the same way as others to obtain validation.
Trusting myself has also made me trust more in God, in the universe, in energy, in inspiration, you name it. I’ve started trusting that my path has been this way because it is the most suitable for me to learn what I need to meet my future self. And beware, this is not an excuse to live without goals, without worries and without responsibilities, waiting for life to do its thing.
This is a constant dance, a game of two, one step is taken by you and another is given by life. You need to do your part to come across your own lessons. The lessons are there, but many times they will reveal themselves to you while you are doing something beyond lamenting for not seeing your path clearly. The lessons should find you while you’re experimenting, enjoying your present, thanking for what you do have now and knowing yourself more in order to understand these lessons deeply.
Realize where you are
How often do you listen to yourself? What does this stage of your life want to tell you that you are not yet able to see? What do you need to start watching it?
Maybe for me all of this has been revealed by being away from my home, because that was the way I could only learn this. This is not to tell you that you need to live somewhere else, but without a doubt from my experience, moving away from the familiar has always brought me closer to myself.
We live full of the external noise of social networks, our family, our partners, our friends, our work, it is a constant contact with everyone except ourselves.
Your path is being redefined.
Sometimes feeling lost just wants to tell you that you need to spend more time with yourself to know what you really want to do when you’re not listening to what others are saying. Maybe you can’t get away from it all now, but there are always ways to make time for yourself, to teach yourself to see the big picture of things in order to see it better.
I don’t know why you would feel lost, I want to think that if you are reading this you need someone to tell you that it is okay to feel that way. There’s nothing wrong with not being able to see your goals clearly now, it is not always necessary to rationalize everything to see point A and point B, if you cannot answer for now the question of “where do you see yourself in a few years?” or you don’t know how to start or continue something its f i n e. All of that is fine, your path is being redefined and that is certainly very uncomfortable, but it is not a failure nor is it an excuse to lose yourself in regrets.
Being addicted to observe a part of the image that you know by heart is satisfactory, for the Ego. Feeling lost, many times has to do more with being losing the version for what you’ve been accepted and loved by others for so long.
The version that has given you that feeling of security and that is fading because now the potential and the most genuine version of you want to come out, and perhaps the discomfort is only asking you to create that space for you to reveal yourself as you are.
Observing a new part of the image even if you do not know it completely is satisfying for the soul, which wants you to reveal your potential through new experiences.
What part of the image do you want to see?