I am lucky to have grown up being bothered by my parents in a good way. All my life, my siblings and I have been educated to avoid thinking small, to evolve, to change our surroundings, to always look for or take opportunities that allow us to expand minds. That lesson has never been clearer to me than now that I have understood that in order to create my own path and gradually come out of the shadow of my parents, I need to change.
Although that part was very clear to me, the problem for me began when I ran into the fear of doing different things from what I have done for a long time, that come from that personality to which I have been completely used to. I didn’t like to accept it, but the reality is that very few times to get to the place that we want we will be comfortable, because it is the opposite of everything that is familiar to us, it is pure uncertainty and that is not very pleasant, especially since we have taught ourselves to see it as something very annoying. When you think about it all more calmly, you realize that the first to sabotage our plans are often ourselves, eventually our prejudices about things come to the surface and we realize that we fiercely defend the ideas of what we believe we can or cannot do.
We have grown in a way that has helped us to get to where we are now and to avoid getting lost along the way, in the process we have had to follow a couple of rules that have helped us to learn important values in our lives and also have given us discipline to discern between what is important and what is not.
However, the time to change some things has come.
To get to new places, we need new ways to continue the process of our growth, the difference is that, now the rules in our life are set by us according to what we want to achieve.
Determining a new way of operating is never easy, but realizing that it is necessary is the first thing to do.
It is scary, indeed and so it is very comfortable to stay where situations are familiar to us, although we do not like them at all we prefer to live poorly knowing, than to live well in uncertainty. It is easy to stay in the comfort zone.
I never paid much attention to this topic because I didn’t realize that comfort had made me lose track of where I was. The issue with that “comfort” we tend to feel when being in a situation that is familiar to us, is that it is not genuine, it is fear in disguise. It’s nothing else but our ego taking us by the hand so that we don’t choose to transform ourselves, face the complicated situations of our life and therefore, operate in the same way to keep the identity that victimhood has given us.
By being asleep in the comfort zone we suffer and we do not realize where that feeling of not being completely happy comes from, we do not realize that we create that suffering by ourselves because we allow fear to bind us, resisting change.
We live wanting so many things, but we suffer because we believe that we cannot have them. We want to change our lives, but we suffer because we don’t know where to start. We know that we are not one hundred percent happy where we are, who we are with, with what we are at the moment, but still we remain where we are acting as we have always done.
If you have ever thought that all this personal development has nothing to do with the different areas of your life or perhaps you understand it but don’t see it reflected in them, do not judge yourself. It’s fine, because we have not taught ourselves to see it that way. We haven’t understood that absolutely everything in life is information that we can have if we decide it.
For a long time we have been ignorant and I say this as a description, we have ignored the power of our mind on the way we live. I completely understand, we have been introduced to personal development as if it was a product, not everyone wants the same product, not all products are for everyone, that’s true. The point is that it is not. Personal development is a set of habits that you do to create a different reality from the one you have. Habits come from your beliefs, those that you store in your mind about how you see the world and how you see yourself according to the information that you have been consciously and unconsciously keeping. Should be for everyone, but many of us have operated or operate from their egos that don’t allow them to advance to believe that evolution is necessary to achieve goals.
Moving forward implies being ready to leave behind parts of what we have been up to now.
Following our dreams implies changes. Sometimes as much as we already know what we want, the last step is to jump into it. We are constantly invaded by internal doubts which come from our “past version” that is used to not doing things, they belong to that version that hasn’t yet been understand the idea that we are changing course. The ego, everything that is linked to your past version of being, that is far from your essence, your soul, the part of you that wants to do things. When you learn to dissociate yourself from your ego, you win. You learn to recognize those limits you usually set for yourself all the time out of habit.
It is rare to hope to be ready to do something that we have never done before. Going for our dreams implies acquiring new information that we have never had in our heads. Can we prepare? Yes. We can create habits that bring us closer to creating confidence about what we want to achieve, it is a matter of preparing the ground for our future self.
Following our intuition, the voice of our essence, our soul, creates a rush of emotion and at the same time fear of the unknown, that is normal. However, it is not doubted in the same way as when we are doing something that has nothing to do with who we really are.
How can you know if you are following your intuition then?
Because it is not only fear but also emotion to see where the process of following your inner voice takes you and when you receive the result of your genuine actions, you can only feel gratitude for having been able to listen to it. You feel peace within yourself and not moral hangover.
This is something that is transmitted in your actions,
It is visible when you do things from your intuition and when you do them from your ego which only wants to do what others do in order to be valued.
Intuition transmits what are the true priorities in our life, to let go of what does not allow us to move forward to grow. Questioning will always be our best tool to evolve, but even that we must question. Why do you question what you question? Maybe you are not happy about something? Maybe something has been mentally bothering you? Although questioning is not an obligation, mental discomfort is the guideline that you should do it. If the lifestyle you have now, no matter how “correct” it seems, makes you uncomfortable, it doesn’t make you happy as you think it “should” be, that’s your sign. Your intuition is telling you to do the opposite, but you have not taught yourself to listen to his voice.
Recognizing mental discomfort is not enough to change, we must be willing to want to know more, to better understand how to act and stop reacting defensively to what happens to us.
Being so comfortable in what is known makes us believe the story that our way of being, thinking or acting has nothing to do with what happens to us out there, but if we perceive that we live full of issues … isn’t it worth questioning? Do we not deserve to learn to have a better life?
We shouldn’t confuse the comfort zone with being happy in a place sabotaging our achievements due to the constant need to change because we don’t know how to have enough, the difference is in the truthfulness and the genuineness of the happiness we feel, the immediate happiness that being comfortable gives us. the is neither durable nor real.
The changes will hardly cease to be a constant, but the process becomes more enjoyable when we understand from our essence why it should be done.
The comfort zone is only useful to recharge batteries when we already know what you want. Is always good to stop for a bit where we are and think consciously about where you are going to move to and understand why you are going in that direction, to see if what you we you really want to do is truly connected to our authenticity.
… what are you going to give up to grow?